How to Pretend That You Understand Crypto
Do you want to be seen as a cool crypto–billionaire just minutes away from your first Lambo? Well, turns out you do not have to spend time learning things and risking your fortune. All you need to do is to include trendy words like “bitcoin”, “ICO”, “blockchain”, “mining”, “hash” etc. into your everyday vocabulary and us plebs would be none-the-wiser.
In fact, here are 6 awesome tips that will help you pretend you to understand crypto!
Digital currency is something you will never understand
There is a legend that nobody really understands it, everybody is just skilfully pretending. So don’t even try. You should know, that blockchain is a technology of the future, and bitcoin is a digital gold. That’s all. Repeat it three times a day before meals, and you can proudly call yourself “crypto enthusiast”.
You can use the word “crypto” with any other one
Along with good old “cryptoworld”, “crypto community” and “crypto currency”, you are now driving crypto-cars, eating crypto-dinners and talking with crypto-friends. If something doesn’t have the prefix “crypto”—it’s not cool and not fashionable at all.
Not a lot of people know what “volatility” and “liquidity” means
Just say “High volatility is one of the key problems of Bitcoin” and you can literally feel that your partner in conversation starts to respect you. Important tip: train a little bit at home to pronounce “volatility” correctly — |ˌvɑːləˈtɪləti|. You have to get it right on the first try, otherwise you’ll ruin the effect.
It’s really hard to follow all the influencers
Satoshi Nakamoto, Roger Ver, Vitalik Buterin and many more. Then say something like: “I heard Roger Ver starts…” or “Buterin decided to …”—you can add pretty everything you want after that, your friends will be astonished by your deep knowledge of the theme and won’t remember what you said anyway. And even if someone will confront you with “Roger Ver has never said this”, just answer “Well, you haven’t heard the latest news then.” After that pretend that you have a phone call and run away from the place.
Everything that is centralized is bad, everything that is decentralized is good
You don’t have to understand it, just remember it. Traditional money is centralized, so it is bad, cryptocurrency is decentralized—that means it is good. Decentralized is the third word that you have to use often—along with “volatility” and “liquidity”. In the supermarket don’t ask “Is the milk fresh?”, ask “Is the milk decentralized?”. And if it is, you can drink it without any doubt. Because if something is decentralized, it can’t be bad.
You can buy 0.0001 BTC and use it as an argument
“Crypto is highly volatile, so I’m worried a little bit about my crypto funds”— after this phrase level of respect for you from surrounding people will become so high, that it just hits the atmosphere and reaches the US flag on the Moon.
One last tip before you go: if someone asks you something, and you haven’t understood anything except word “crypto” in his or her question, just say: “Well, you can never be sure, because everything is changing so quickly in the crypto-world”. After that use good old “Sorry, I have a phone call” strategy.
So, good crypto-luck to you! And if you genuinely want to learn more about Bitcoin, here’s a great post that explains Bitcoin in simple terms.